people are not good to each other. perhaps if they were, our deaths would not be so sad.
WE DOIN' THIS. Taco Friday is back in action, no themes to slow us down. We will yell at each other, electrocute each other when arguments cannot be resolved via yelling, and punch me when that too fails. Taco Friday is exactly like the comic book hero Batman.
FOLKS I ain't got much to prove but I ain't got much to be proud of. Come to this taco celebration and I will promise that I will do my best to do what I think is best to make you have the best time.
As always, tell me if you are coming because I have no goddamned clue about anything.
"Gorilla Until Proven Human" proved to be one of the most difficult and frustrating party concepts in a while. The name sums it up pretty well: only those who can prove that they are human are recognized as such, while those who either have not or can not prove their humanity are assumed to be gorillas. This idea is taken in whole cloth from the "innocent until proven guilty" precept of the criminal justice system of the United States.
Criteria for one's humanity was not chosen before the party began. A small oversight, but it turns out that this is a tremendously complex qualification with many equally legitimate points of view. In short, what is gorilla to one may be human to another, and vice versa. Small ontological eruptions broke out very quickly; whiskey only fanned these sparks into a roaring flame.
Additionally, there was an unexpected psychological angle that was not even considered until a few folks who did not meet the qualifications for "human" decided that, since they were deemed to be gorillas, they would act as gorillas. Humorous, to be sure, but this caused a schism in the room between confirmed gorillas and confirmed humans. By coincidence or some unknown "gorilla factor," the known-gorillas were possessed of greater-than-average strength and cruelty. The known-humans were subjected to surprise "jungle locks" (simply a choke hold) throughout the night, and every unwatched drink belonging to a human immediately went missing. The hosts eventually instituted a "no grabbing" rule, but many drinks were still compromised in anger.
As the party went into the early morning, an epistemological shock wave moved through the crowd; only humans have the high-level intellect to determine human from non-human! No humans existed at the beginning of the party, according to the premise, "Gorilla Until Proven Human." Therefore, if there are no humans present to do the judging, no judgments could be made. All human/gorilla judgments made earlier in the night were thus invalidated; all present were gorillas. A few who were previously determined to be humans tried in vain to keep their title but were quickly browbeaten by the massive gorilla contingent. It got sad fast. Everyone left feeling worse than they came.
Hey guys hey guys, I re-read what I wrote and I neglected to tell you that you are greatly encouraged to bring unique Manhattan ingredients. Special oranges? Pickled pickles? Who knows.
WHO COULD BE SO LUCKY, a themed Taco Friday is here this week! A real theme. I didn't even have much fun at "Gorilla Until Proven Human," either. This theme, "The Manhattan Project," celebrates both the classy, classy drink and one of the most monumental feat of engineering which, through its parents - the corpus of scientific knowledge of humanity and three years of intense international efforts - gave birth to the Trinity bomb, a twenty kiloton baby of explosive death which came screaming into our world on 16 July 1945 at the White Sands Proving Ground in New Mexico.
Despite my strong desire I will not require everyone to read The Making of the Atomic Bomb by Richard Rhodes; I will still require your very personal efforts, though. Instead of colluding to create an atrocity, you will try your durndest to make the best damned Manhattan possible. Your research team? Classic Manhattan recipes. Your laboratory? All of the traditional ingredients and garnishes, plus maybe some funny ones (GOAT DICKS). There can only be one winner, but there can be many drunk drunk people. The recipe for the best Manhattan will be recorded and dubbed "The Taco Friday Manhattan."
Prizes to anyone who dresses as a scientist; double prizes for anyone who dresses as a particular scientist.
RSVP OR I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'RE COMING OH GOD I HATE YOU
