There is a balm in Gilead

Taco Friday for Friday, December 3rd

Lo, ye barren and hopeless. In these economic times, no one knows what could be around the next paycheck.


Try as we may, humor only dulls the guillotine of waking. That is why there is bourbon. Come then and "enjoy" an ostensibly taco-themed "party." Whoooo knows what the night will bring. You know the drill. There will be (a) prize(s).

Thank you, you are horrible

As I was going through the pictures from last Friday, I was shocked and upset that none of them were "safe for work." Every single picture that was in focus featured no less than ten square inches of T.N.'s midriff. This story has a silver lining, however (especially for those who want to pay me for pictures of a certain someone's midriff):

Now you "no"

Taco Friday for Friday, November 12th

Here is a thing, you're welcome. I know it keeps you comin' back for more.



Let's "get down to brass tacks." I know you like getting yelled at, and you know that I can't stop that from happening. It's a win-win situation. Taco Friday is in "full effect" and is going to make you drink muchos bourbons.

Don't bother coming if you aren't going to drink muchos bourbon unless you have a note from your doctor.

YOUR LIFE IS SMALL

Taco Friday for Friday, October 22nd

IN MY BUSINESS IT'S GO BIG OR GO HOME.

Think of the best moments your life has to offer. Think of the times where the glory surged in you and you were singular in that moment, content. Think of how the next day, you felt a catharsis like the melting of ice on top of the river, revealing in small holes the rushing, thoughtless, steel flow. There is indeed a greatness in the world, and you amongst the rabble have personal evidence of it.

Now, think of the times that never again float to the surface. Perhaps you ate a microwaved burrito and watched Two and a Half Men. Maybe you returned a phone call to a friend you dislike in order to avoid appearing unpersonable. When you got home from work and ate some leftovers, then took a nap until 8:30 pm. Though you can't remember these insignificant minutes and hours, you know that that they must have occurred. Whatever the case may be, these are moments not to be considered good. They are, at best, neutral events and at worst are wastes of the small ticks of the one-handed clock that is your life; it only goes around once.

Taco Friday is shining salvation in a sea of wasted time and steps to the grave. Today, right now, you are being presented with the gift of memory and value. Rejection is tantamount to acceptance of failure, normalcy, and loss. Do the right thing.

Also R.S.V.P.S.V.P. ok?

"... I will show you fear in a handful of [tacos]." - T.S. Elliot

Thank you for drinking my booze, eating my tacos, and making my place a stinky mess. My feelings always fluctuate between madness and joy when I see what the hell happened in my kitchen. A chair surrounded by hair. A bloody rag. Whipped cream everywhere. Beers bottles enough to make the homeless salivate. Pokémon everywhere. Somewhere amongst the detritus is the corpse of a good night, but I need to find it before it rots.

As a WAY HEADS UP, there will be a Taco Friday next week on Friday, October 22nd. If you're going to ever attend one T.F. LET THIS BE IT. Out-of-towner and former/current legend D.J. Darlin' Darwin will be here and it will be horrible. It will be so bad and you can't ever say no. Keep that in mind, okay? It will be, as in the new vernacular, "epic."

REAL SWEET MOVES

Aw yeah. In case the previous post was not obvious, tomorrow is indeed a...

The Phantom Of The Taco

Taco Friday for Friday, October 12

SING FOR MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Thank you for watching that in its entirety before moving on to the next paragraph. Listen, I don't like you any more than you like me, but it's time we put our differences aside so that, finally, we can have ONE FAMILY THANKSGIVING WITHOUT A BLACK EYE. God. I really do hate your brother-in-law. Have I ever told you that? Ugh. The guy looks like Pirates of the Caribbean meets Two and a Half Men. Gives me the willies.

How about we throw Thanksgiving at our place this year? It'll be so much easier. No traveling, no packing, and everyone has to feel obliged to you. Just make your famous Taco Turkey (a pile of tacos from Taco Bell, affixed with bobby pins to look like a turkey) and everyone will line up at the door for a chance at the drumstick ha ha ha it doesn't have a drumstick; it's made of tacos.

What do you say? The kids will LOVE IT.

Ughhhhh

Again Taco Friday morning. Grey sun offer no warmth. No breath of life. All bird sound like cement pulling by dog on chain. Why dog leash attach cement? Who so cruel? Cruel, cruel teens. This bullshit only happen in New York. City never sleeps? Horrible acts always happen. Teen puke on car, car hit teen. Teen mistakes so banal they happen but always terrible. Sane person gets out of city goes to suburbs, no loud teen pukes in night. Birds sound like birds, no dog torture. Become old, die.

HO HO HO

Taco Friday for Friday, September 24th

"THIS IS MY ANTI-DRUG" - T.N.

How many times can you be badly hurt by something and still trust it? Come to Taco Friday and find out. Same taco time, same taco place (STTSTP). This is (except for the above cat mania) a space-filler and an announcement. A "real" Taco Friday post will follow. As always, RSVP at the last second so it doesn't in any way influence my shopping decisions.

Like Macbeth

Taco Friday for Friday, September 10th
Feat. Dubb T. Snacks

IT'S A DAY IN THE AUTUMN, and we can celebrate in a general and unfocused way that, when the blinds are pulled on the windows, is indistinguishable from the summer, winter, and spring.




What makes this Taco Friday special? I have a secret for everyone (this secret is Actual, and is not a grab bag with only cat food, not anymore). You will have to drink this secret, it's important. Do not disappoint me, you know that I can't handle disappointment.