I am not dead.

 Dear friends,

I am not dead (see title). More importantly, Taco Friday is not dead. It is undergoing "a little bit of spring cleaning." That is to say, I am writing a manifesto in three parts. Keep your eyes peeled for a series of essays regarding your (least) favorite Friday night activity:

1. On Taco Friday; On Its Mission and Goals
2. On The Generations Of Taco Friday
3. On the Future Of Taco Friday

Following the completion of this series, Taco Friday will emerge from its chrysalis, slick with ichor, and harden into a metaphor for puberty.

Signed,
The Management

My Other Horse Can't Eat Horseradish, Either

Taco Friday for Friday, May 11th

People have been talking. People have been saying, "update your goddamned blog, we crave newness." Hark, you have not been abandoned like so many gross pigeon toes in the urban landscape. Your presumed favorite ostensibly taco-themed Friday happening is here to stay, with the next installment planned for one week from today.

What have you missed in the intervening month of wasted and used-up Friday nights? Well, for starters:

• J. "D.S." G. enjoyed a short-lived celebrity after a video of him punting mangoes like footballs went viral.
• A.B. found what appeared to be a blackberry under his big toenail, but it turned out to be a subungual haematoma.
• You all learned how gross subungual haematomas are after Googling that term.

Come, then, and eat tacos with others. Also, use the next week to reflect on Taco Friday. Think of how it has helped break the binds of fear, how it has made you a more powerful individual. As always, RSVP or you're dead to me.

Tacos, feat. DJ Darlin' Darwin

Taco Friday for Friday, February 17th



@}-,-`- CELEBRATE GOOD TIMES, COME ON ;D

Time to pick yourself up by your bootstraps, folks, 'cause it's time to THINK POSITIVELY. No more piling up boxes of "denied emotions" in the "dark recesses of your soul" just because you want to "fit in." You wouldn't anyway, so what's the use in feel bad about being bad? THINK POSITIVELY.

To that end, I present to you the offer of tacos on Friday. You can put them in your body and they will become a part of you. You are just a transient collection of re-purposed dead things that shits out pieces of itself. THINK POSITIVELY. To further illustrate this message, a special guest, A. Darwin R., will be in attendance, promoting positive thought to a level that was once thought to be dangerous.

Same taco time, same taco place. You know the drill: RSVP or you will get spanked.

Taco Terrors

Taco Friday for Friday, January 20th

Taco Friday, your mother and mine, has sent several of her boys to war. Like any pragmatic patriot, she knows that they will not return the same, if they return at all. Dave 'The Smile' Morgan. Brian 'Who Loves Wigs?' Walker. Who can forget these kind or awful souls? Soon, Jay 'Jay' Pyle, will join their ranks.

We celebrate in the only way we know how: poorly. Come and say goodbye to a tall, tall gentleman. As always, there will be prizes and someone who is too excited to see you (me). RSVP or you're dead to me.

IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIIIME OF THE YEAR

Taco Friday for December 2nd



GET OUT OF TOWN. You have ample time to "get ready for this." Tacos are getting more and more regular just as my digestive rhythm is becoming increasingly unpredictable. Share in the 'fun' of the moment as we discover new ways to deal with unkind G.I. distress.

RSVP, suckas. Email the Taco Friday Customer Service Email Node with any questions.

WHUT WHOA

!!! OOPS !!!

HEY GUYS I FORGOT TO DO A THING. There are tacos, yes. Are there secrets? Also yes. This Is The Deal.

Surprise me.

Tacos: Friday, October 21st

Get ready for disappointment, but in a whole new way. Taco Friday is back, but it will never be the same as you remember it. The time between then and now has somehow become opaque, diffusing the light, making rough edges appear smooth. Was it ever that way? I ain't know, I ain't no damned philosopher.

In reality, Taco Friday was a parade of baroque and blunt jokes about baroque and blunt genitals. It was never fun-- do you know the worst part? Turns out, it was all a dream after all.

Come, then, and try to relive the insanity of your recent past. Maybe Whitey will puke gin and maybe Tom will even "get in trouble," but it will never be the same again.

If you are unfamiliar with where or how to get to tacos at their new location, contact the Taco Friday customer support email node. RSVP or else you don't get to eat.

Taco Friday: the Legend

Taco Friday for Friday, September 9th (nvr4get)



HEY GUESS WHAT. Even though 'state sponsored' Taco Fridays are off 'til further notice, illegal Chinese imitation Taco Fridays are popping up all over the place. You can't even go two Fridays without tripping into one!

That's right: as long as you're not too worried about heavy metal or melamine poisoning, step up to the residence of one J.P. on Friday, September 9th. Your friend and mine lives at 135 Central St., #5 in Somerville and he is not worried about unauthorized brand dilution, not at all.

RSVPing is even more important since your host this week does not even give a single fuck, don't even. Email him and comment to show him you care/are willing to engage in tacos near him.

D:

WE OUT. State-sponsored Taco Fridays are now officially on hiatus until further notice. Find meaning elsewhere, such as:

• under your bed, eating Skittles
• etc.

An ostensibly taco-themed gathering, featuring bourbon

Friends, Somervillians, greater Boston area residents, lend me your ears; I come to bury Taco Friday, not praise it.




HAHA SIKE, sort of. I hella come to praise it, but the day of Taco Friday is already lit by a dying sun. The final Taco Friday to take place in Somerville - under my watch, at least - is coming and coming soon. Mark your calendars for Friday, August 12th. Bring out your black suits and veils. Spare no expense on lilies and white roses.

How you do celebrate the death of an event which is primarily about celebrating that we are living dead things? It gets a little foggy, so we can never really be sure, but if I were a gambling man I would bet on drinking so much bourbon that you can't stop lying.

A new day of Taco Friday will dawn [Likely in September, for those who can't deal with uncertainties. Looking at you, T.N. - ed]. The pale blue cast of dawn will illuminate the mussed hair of whatever mistake is sleeping next to you, and you will be presented with brand new decisions to make. This will be one hell of a fiasco, so don't miss it. RSVP.