This is hard for me to say, so I'm just going to put it forward; I'd like to apologize for my behavior last night. I was feeling unexpectedly under the weather last night as may have been obvious by my nagging horse cough and conspicuously few dick jokes. I'm sorry you had to see this.
There having been a dearth of Taco Fridays in the past month, I know what you're thinking. "What's this shit? I expected to at least get threatened to get punched or at least have have worldview challenged as 'hypocritical, dangerous, and child-like.'" I understand. Again, I am truley sorry for your lots.
The next Taco Friday will be the most illegal to date. Let's get things back on track.
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Seven AM wakin' up in the morning gotta be fresh
Taco Friday for Friday, April 8th
It's been a while. How have you been? Sit down, take the comfortable chair by the fire. No, no, don't get up. Would you like a drink? Here, let me show you something.
Life has not magically gotten any better since we've last met; your fears still nag at your beating heart and the warming spring air only fills you with anxiety rather than relief. Nothing has changed and you are no exception. Your only reprieve remains tacos and the dread fear of a dead or uncaring god.
Same taco time, same taco place. Rejoice in the glow a 7:00 pm setting sun and tacos, also bourbon. Bad prizes can be yours if you only somehow win a contest. If you don't RSVP and yet show up I will somehow draw blood from you by the end of the night.
It's been a while. How have you been? Sit down, take the comfortable chair by the fire. No, no, don't get up. Would you like a drink? Here, let me show you something.
Life has not magically gotten any better since we've last met; your fears still nag at your beating heart and the warming spring air only fills you with anxiety rather than relief. Nothing has changed and you are no exception. Your only reprieve remains tacos and the dread fear of a dead or uncaring god.
Same taco time, same taco place. Rejoice in the glow a 7:00 pm setting sun and tacos, also bourbon. Bad prizes can be yours if you only somehow win a contest. If you don't RSVP and yet show up I will somehow draw blood from you by the end of the night.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
R.I.P. the electrocution game
Dear friends, it is with heavy heart and great sorrow that I announce that the electrocution game is no longer amongst us. It's in a better place now (tradition insists that I say this; no place is better than wherever Taco Friday occurs).
Beloved by many, and hated by those who think it was "too scary," the electrocution game was born in a nameless factory in China, assembled by equally nameless workers. Through humanitarian intervention by J.P., it was brought here to Somerville, where it lived its life making our own more exciting. It is survived by all those who still do not have full sensation in their hands. Services will be held some Friday in the future. In lieu of flowers, donations in its name can be sent to DOGPAC, a political fund established to lobby for the promotion of dog AIDS.
Amen.
Beloved by many, and hated by those who think it was "too scary," the electrocution game was born in a nameless factory in China, assembled by equally nameless workers. Through humanitarian intervention by J.P., it was brought here to Somerville, where it lived its life making our own more exciting. It is survived by all those who still do not have full sensation in their hands. Services will be held some Friday in the future. In lieu of flowers, donations in its name can be sent to DOGPAC, a political fund established to lobby for the promotion of dog AIDS.
Amen.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Taco Friday lost and found
Again, I found various possessions following a Taco Friday that will be joined in a civil union with urine if not claimed. They include:
- A thin gray sweater, presumably belonging to a woman
- A black knit scarf, presumably belonging to a woman
Monday, February 21, 2011
Taco Friday GUEST STARS pt. 2
Taco Friday for Friday, February 25th
This Friday marks the second in a series of two (2) GUEST STAR Taco Fridays. On the docket is your friend and mine, the most powerful social media game mogul known to man, DJ DarLin' Darwin. Who is this mysterious plutarch? Please see the below condensed corpus vitae.
This Friday marks the second in a series of two (2) GUEST STAR Taco Fridays. On the docket is your friend and mine, the most powerful social media game mogul known to man, DJ DarLin' Darwin. Who is this mysterious plutarch? Please see the below condensed corpus vitae.
- B.S., Cornell '05
- Adept practitioner of NLP
- Enjoys a long horse
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Taco Friday GUEST STARS
Taco Friday for Friday, February 18th
YOU ASKED FOR IT, and boy did you get it (nothing). This Friday marks the first of two consecutive Taco Fridays featuring special guests. For whatever reason other people "wanted" to "come" to "Taco Friday." Do your best to show them the kind of welcome that you would like to be shown (urine), or better yet, drink a Four Loko with them and yell and cry and feel bad and get punched.
RSVP or else I will have to resort to evites.
YOU ASKED FOR IT, and boy did you get it (nothing). This Friday marks the first of two consecutive Taco Fridays featuring special guests. For whatever reason other people "wanted" to "come" to "Taco Friday." Do your best to show them the kind of welcome that you would like to be shown (urine), or better yet, drink a Four Loko with them and yell and cry and feel bad and get punched.
RSVP or else I will have to resort to evites.
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Taco Friday lost and found
The management has found the following items upon morning cleanup and encourages you to claim your lost possessions. Items not claimed within seven days will somehow be used in conjunction with urine.
TFMGMT
- Tupperware container with red lid
- Security access badge, presumably with access to a pharmaceutical company
The shame of a lost generation(claimed)Three headbands fashioned from red warning tape reading "DANGER PELIGRO" (claimed)
A bag of groceries, including parsnips (added 18:50:01)(claimed)- A black knitted hat (added 18:50:22)
TFMGMT
Monday, January 31, 2011
WE DOIN' THIS
Taco Friday for Friday, February 4th
The fake votes are in: your opinions don't matter and I am going to do whatever I wanted to do anyway. The winner is...
Yes, the next Taco Effin' Freitag is going to be bourbon, but get this. In food. Bourbon shrimp tacos, with a sidebar of pinto beans featuring white wine for those who can engage in neither bourbon nor shrimp. Any detractors who want to dress up nice can either a) dress up nice anyway or b) wait 'til the next affair. We doin' this (see title), and we doin' this right. In case you have never seen a shrimp before:
YUMMERS. Bring your "S" game. Your life is small, your loves are false, etc.
The fake votes are in: your opinions don't matter and I am going to do whatever I wanted to do anyway. The winner is...
Yes, the next Taco Effin' Freitag is going to be bourbon, but get this. In food. Bourbon shrimp tacos, with a sidebar of pinto beans featuring white wine for those who can engage in neither bourbon nor shrimp. Any detractors who want to dress up nice can either a) dress up nice anyway or b) wait 'til the next affair. We doin' this (see title), and we doin' this right. In case you have never seen a shrimp before:
YUMMERS. Bring your "S" game. Your life is small, your loves are false, etc.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
YOU CAN WIN IT @LL CLICK HERE
FINALLY, here is YOUR CHANCE to WIN IT ALL and FINALLY be an adult in YOUR PARENTS EYES and also become SUPREMELY ATTRACTIVE to the GENDER(s) of your PREFERENCE. It is not hyperbola to say that this is the most important decision you will ever make in your "nasty, brutish, and short" life. Would you like to....
If you thought that old shrimp and movie-to-children's book adaptations of the Home Alone series were rewards beyond measure, then your expectations are perfectly in line with reality. This prize is different, however, in that you finally get to make a difference in your world in the smallest way. Yesterday, your meek flame could have expired with only a tax record and parking tickets to prove you even existed. Tomorrow, you could have changed the consumptive pattern of at least four people. You will know power.
Decisions will be rendered in a totally arbitrary and opaque process which requires no input from anyone else. Bribes will not be accepted except when they are.
Friday, January 21, 2011
horrible taco thoughts [II]
Yes, dear reader, we sit on the very cusp of a "Taco Friday for the ages." In mere minutes it will begin and you will have all of your dreams fulfilled. Yet have you ever considered what Taco Friday means to you? Or for that matter, what Taco Friday really means? If you haven't, you are probably a bad person and a worse friend. I hope you go to jail.
Taco Friday's central idea is the elimination of fear. This is simple enough, but consider the implications as fear is the polar opposite of love. As we batter down that part of us that winces at challenge or that will make another trip to the store rather than ask that stranger if they could move so we could get that damned can of beans, we genuinely feel greater love. All you have to do is say "yes."
That is not the end, that is not the end at all. There are many fears and we oppose them all. Fear of conflict, fear of cats, fear of a lack of cats, fear of tiny holes. I would continue, but I have to go and make taco for y'all jerks.
Taco Friday's central idea is the elimination of fear. This is simple enough, but consider the implications as fear is the polar opposite of love. As we batter down that part of us that winces at challenge or that will make another trip to the store rather than ask that stranger if they could move so we could get that damned can of beans, we genuinely feel greater love. All you have to do is say "yes."
That is not the end, that is not the end at all. There are many fears and we oppose them all. Fear of conflict, fear of cats, fear of a lack of cats, fear of tiny holes. I would continue, but I have to go and make taco for y'all jerks.
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