Get ready for disappointment, but in a whole new way. Taco Friday is back, but it will never be the same as you remember it. The time between then and now has somehow become opaque, diffusing the light, making rough edges appear smooth. Was it ever that way? I ain't know, I ain't no damned philosopher.
In reality, Taco Friday was a parade of baroque and blunt jokes about baroque and blunt genitals. It was never fun-- do you know the worst part? Turns out, it was all a dream after all.
Come, then, and try to relive the insanity of your recent past. Maybe Whitey will puke gin and maybe Tom will even "get in trouble," but it will never be the same again.
If you are unfamiliar with where or how to get to tacos at their new location, contact the Taco Friday customer support email node. RSVP or else you don't get to eat.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Taco Friday: the Legend
Taco Friday for Friday, September 9th (nvr4get)
HEY GUESS WHAT. Even though 'state sponsored' Taco Fridays are off 'til further notice, illegal Chinese imitation Taco Fridays are popping up all over the place. You can't even go two Fridays without tripping into one!
That's right: as long as you're not too worried about heavy metal or melamine poisoning, step up to the residence of one J.P. on Friday, September 9th. Your friend and mine lives at 135 Central St., #5 in Somerville and he is not worried about unauthorized brand dilution, not at all.
RSVPing is even more important since your host this week does not even give a single fuck, don't even. Email him and comment to show him you care/are willing to engage in tacos near him.
HEY GUESS WHAT. Even though 'state sponsored' Taco Fridays are off 'til further notice, illegal Chinese imitation Taco Fridays are popping up all over the place. You can't even go two Fridays without tripping into one!
That's right: as long as you're not too worried about heavy metal or melamine poisoning, step up to the residence of one J.P. on Friday, September 9th. Your friend and mine lives at 135 Central St., #5 in Somerville and he is not worried about unauthorized brand dilution, not at all.
RSVPing is even more important since your host this week does not even give a single fuck, don't even. Email him and comment to show him you care/are willing to engage in tacos near him.
Saturday, August 13, 2011
D:
WE OUT. State-sponsored Taco Fridays are now officially on hiatus until further notice. Find meaning elsewhere, such as:
- under your bed, eating Skittles
- etc.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
An ostensibly taco-themed gathering, featuring bourbon
Friends, Somervillians, greater Boston area residents, lend me your ears; I come to bury Taco Friday, not praise it.
HAHA SIKE, sort of. I hella come to praise it, but the day of Taco Friday is already lit by a dying sun. The final Taco Friday to take place in Somerville - under my watch, at least - is coming and coming soon. Mark your calendars for Friday, August 12th. Bring out your black suits and veils. Spare no expense on lilies and white roses.
How you do celebrate the death of an event which is primarily about celebrating that we are living dead things? It gets a little foggy, so we can never really be sure, but if I were a gambling man I would bet on drinking so much bourbon that you can't stop lying.
A new day of Taco Friday will dawn [Likely in September, for those who can't deal with uncertainties. Looking at you, T.N. - ed]. The pale blue cast of dawn will illuminate the mussed hair of whatever mistake is sleeping next to you, and you will be presented with brand new decisions to make. This will be one hell of a fiasco, so don't miss it. RSVP.
HAHA SIKE, sort of. I hella come to praise it, but the day of Taco Friday is already lit by a dying sun. The final Taco Friday to take place in Somerville - under my watch, at least - is coming and coming soon. Mark your calendars for Friday, August 12th. Bring out your black suits and veils. Spare no expense on lilies and white roses.
How you do celebrate the death of an event which is primarily about celebrating that we are living dead things? It gets a little foggy, so we can never really be sure, but if I were a gambling man I would bet on drinking so much bourbon that you can't stop lying.
A new day of Taco Friday will dawn [Likely in September, for those who can't deal with uncertainties. Looking at you, T.N. - ed]. The pale blue cast of dawn will illuminate the mussed hair of whatever mistake is sleeping next to you, and you will be presented with brand new decisions to make. This will be one hell of a fiasco, so don't miss it. RSVP.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Taco Friday Lost and Found
If you left a shoebox filled with several wigs (including one "Caribbean Pirate Wig") and a DIY black and white striped t-shirt, plus a bag filled with face paint, come and pick it up. This is exactly the sort of thing that I do not need in my apartment.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Brian is Dead [NSFW]
Taco Friday for Friday, July 8th
B.W. (or as he is know to friends, "B. Walk") is not long for this world. As all True Americans know, nothing exists outside the borders of our great nation except for jihad-fueled migrant workers who want to buy our national debt. Our friend will be leaving us to join the huddled masses and the wretched refuse, so how else to send him off except by having first world problems? Severe first world problems.
Come, friends, and say goodbye to B. Walk. If you don't know or dislike him, come anyway and metaphorically pee on his grave. For those of you who are unfamiliar, B. Walk has survived three generations of Taco Fridays, a feat only boasted by very few others. We will celebrate this by tying together threads from each generation:
B.W. (or as he is know to friends, "B. Walk") is not long for this world. As all True Americans know, nothing exists outside the borders of our great nation except for jihad-fueled migrant workers who want to buy our national debt. Our friend will be leaving us to join the huddled masses and the wretched refuse, so how else to send him off except by having first world problems? Severe first world problems.
Come, friends, and say goodbye to B. Walk. If you don't know or dislike him, come anyway and metaphorically pee on his grave. For those of you who are unfamiliar, B. Walk has survived three generations of Taco Fridays, a feat only boasted by very few others. We will celebrate this by tying together threads from each generation:
- A mixed punch ideally suited for tacos
- A love of physical violence
- Halfway decent food
Monday, May 30, 2011
Taco Friday: J.B.'s 25th Birthday Edition / Revenge of the Droids
Taco Friday for Friday, June 3rd
What does J.B.'s 25th birthday party / Taco Friday extravaganza and the 2011 Star Wars Celebration have in common? You're nearly guaranteed to lose your AT-ST virginity and end up feeling conflicted about it. At the same taco time and same taco place, we will witness the miracle of a girl becoming a woman. Come and see your friend emerge from her chrysalis while standing next to people who probably harbor a strong grudge against you.
What makes this Taco Friday special? You will:
* Taco Friday occasionally gives you the opportunity to win prizes in conjunction with our semi-weekly ostensibly taco-themed party. A birthday is not necessary, but it is appreciated. Taco Friday employees and associated entities are not allowed to enter the drawing.
What does J.B.'s 25th birthday party / Taco Friday extravaganza and the 2011 Star Wars Celebration have in common? You're nearly guaranteed to lose your AT-ST virginity and end up feeling conflicted about it. At the same taco time and same taco place, we will witness the miracle of a girl becoming a woman. Come and see your friend emerge from her chrysalis while standing next to people who probably harbor a strong grudge against you.
What makes this Taco Friday special? You will:
- Absolutely have to make a lot of mistakes because it is scientifically impossible for you to be a good friend while you are not
- Realize how unimportant you are, both in the very immediate and very universal contexts
- Experience how good gluten-free can be in a safe, taco environment
* Taco Friday occasionally gives you the opportunity to win prizes in conjunction with our semi-weekly ostensibly taco-themed party. A birthday is not necessary, but it is appreciated. Taco Friday employees and associated entities are not allowed to enter the drawing.
Monday, May 16, 2011
Taco Friday: Away Game Edition
Taco Friday for Friday, May 20th
Our good friend, J.P., will be hosting his third Taco Friday away game, attaining the first hat trick of this sort. GOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL
For those of you who crave regularity, do not be afraid. Expect bad things to happen, but this time they will be nearer to parakeet than before. Mr. P. lives at 135 Central St., Apt. #5 in Somerville. Same taco time, however. Members of the Tribe, be warned that the meal will not be treif as it will contain hyrax.
Any questions can be sent to the traditional Taco Friday Customer Inquiry Node. Accept no substitutes.
Our good friend, J.P., will be hosting his third Taco Friday away game, attaining the first hat trick of this sort. GOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL
For those of you who crave regularity, do not be afraid. Expect bad things to happen, but this time they will be nearer to parakeet than before. Mr. P. lives at 135 Central St., Apt. #5 in Somerville. Same taco time, however. Members of the Tribe, be warned that the meal will not be treif as it will contain hyrax.
Any questions can be sent to the traditional Taco Friday Customer Inquiry Node. Accept no substitutes.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Make new friends,/ but keep the old./ One is silver,/ your mother is a used up/ dead thing.
Taco Friday for Friday, May 7th
The time for excuses is over, ladies and people of the internet, and a new sun for bourbon and bocce rises. As promised, the most illegal Taco Friday of all time is to take place this week at the same taco time, same taco place. There will be - go figure - prizes; wonderful, horrible prizes that you can give to your mother for Mother's Day. Expired canned seafood will show your mom that you care.
What makes it so illegal? You name it: extrajudicial killings, money laundering, selling human organs on eBay. I don't even know anymore. Just come to this goddamned taco party and RSVP if you're going to come. God damnit.
The time for excuses is over, ladies and people of the internet, and a new sun for bourbon and bocce rises. As promised, the most illegal Taco Friday of all time is to take place this week at the same taco time, same taco place. There will be - go figure - prizes; wonderful, horrible prizes that you can give to your mother for Mother's Day. Expired canned seafood will show your mom that you care.
What makes it so illegal? You name it: extrajudicial killings, money laundering, selling human organs on eBay. I don't even know anymore. Just come to this goddamned taco party and RSVP if you're going to come. God damnit.
Saturday, April 9, 2011
I'm sorry :(:(:(:(:(
This is hard for me to say, so I'm just going to put it forward; I'd like to apologize for my behavior last night. I was feeling unexpectedly under the weather last night as may have been obvious by my nagging horse cough and conspicuously few dick jokes. I'm sorry you had to see this.
There having been a dearth of Taco Fridays in the past month, I know what you're thinking. "What's this shit? I expected to at least get threatened to get punched or at least have have worldview challenged as 'hypocritical, dangerous, and child-like.'" I understand. Again, I am truley sorry for your lots.
The next Taco Friday will be the most illegal to date. Let's get things back on track.
There having been a dearth of Taco Fridays in the past month, I know what you're thinking. "What's this shit? I expected to at least get threatened to get punched or at least have have worldview challenged as 'hypocritical, dangerous, and child-like.'" I understand. Again, I am truley sorry for your lots.
The next Taco Friday will be the most illegal to date. Let's get things back on track.
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