Saturday, August 28, 2010

If the glory can be killed, we are lost

I'm going to break with the usual pace and reflect on last night's "epic" Taco Friday. I hesitate to use that word, but on reflection we did sack Troy and murder Paris. Songs will be written about the Taco Friday of 8/27/2010 (never forget), and the events will become distorted and larger with every telling and every generation. Did T.N. truly drink ten bottles of scotch, then become frustrated because he couldn't feel "a single damned thing"? Did D.M. truly punch a dog so hard that it spoke in our language and asked for mercy? There will be no way of knowing, and our children and their children will speak of the night with giddy, bright eyes when adults are out of earshot.

Thanks for coming, folks. This is what Taco Friday is supposed to be like, or at least what I anticipate every weekend. I hope our dearly departed friends will take this one with them, a FIRE IN THEIR HEARTS WHICH WARMS EVEN THE COLDEST NORTHERN REACHES. I leave you with a passage by the great American author, John Steinbeck.

Sometimes a kind of glory lights up the mind of a man. It happens to nearly everyone. You can feel it growing or preparing like a fuse burning toward dynamite. It is a feeling in the stomach, a delight of the nerves, of the forearms. The skin tastes the air, and every deep-drawn breath is sweet. Its beginning has the pleasure of a great stretching yawn; it flashes in the brain and whole world glows outside your eyes. A man may have lived all of his life in the gray, and the land and trees of him dark and somber. The events, even the important ones, may have trooped by faceless and pale. And then - the glory - so that a cricket song sweetens his ears, the smell of the earth rises chanting to his nose, and dappling light under a tree blesses his eyes. Then a man pours outward, a torrent of him, and yet he is not diminished. And I guess a man's importance in the world can be measured by the quality and number of his glories. It is a lonely thing but it relates us to the world. It is the mother of all creativeness, and it sets each man separate from all other men.

I don't know how it will be in the years to come. There are monstrous changes taking place in the world, forces shaping a future whose face we do not know. Some of these forces seem evil to us, perhaps not in themselves but because their tendency is to eliminate other things we hold good. It is true that two men can lift a bigger stone than one man. A group can build automobiles quicker and better than one man, and bread from a huge factory is cheaper and more uniform. When our food and clothing and housing all are born in the complication of mass production, mass method is bound to get into our thinking and to eliminate all other thinking. In our time mass or collective production has entered our economics, our politics, and even our religion, so that some nations have substituted the idea collective for the idea God. This in my time is the danger. There is great tension in the world, tension toward a breaking point, and men are unhappy and confused.

At such a time it seems natural and good to me to ask myself these questions. What do I believe in? What must I fight for and what must I fight against?

Our species is the only creative species, and it has only one creative instrument, the individual mind and spirit of a man. Nothing was ever created by two men. There are no good collaborations, whether in music, in art, in poetry, in mathematics, in philosophy. Once the miracle of creation has taken place, the group can build and extend it, but the group never invents anything. The preciousness lies in the lonely mind of a man.

And now the forces marshaled around the concept of the group have declared a war of extermination on the preciousness, the mind of man. By disparagement, by starvation, by repressions, forced direction, and the stunning hammerblows of conditioning, the free roving mind is being pursued, roped, blunted, drugged. It is a sad suicidal course our species seems to have taken.

And this I believe: that the free, exploring mind of the individual human is the most valuable thing in the world. And this I would fight for: the freedom of the mind to take any direction it wishes, undirected. And this I must fight against: any idea, religion, or government which limits or destroys the individual. This is what I am and what I am about. I can understand why a system built on a pattern must try to destroy the free mind, for that is one thing which can by inspection destroy such a system. Surely I can understand this, and I hate it and I will fight against it to preserve the one thing that separates us from the uncreative beasts. If the glory can be killed, we are lost.

- John Steinbeck, East of Eden

Sunday, August 22, 2010

how did you "no"


Taco Friday for Friday, August 28th


I'm very sorry to say that I have bad news. In very short time, we will be losing several dear, dear friends to what amounts to death: expatriation. Though their shifting bodies will move their mouths, alien syllables will pour out in a meaningless torrent. Their dull eyes will look but not focus, like the pale shimmer of those of fish. They will eat slightly different fried potato dishes, potentially with a different fatty topping, and call them stupid names. Ugh.

While there is never any sort of hope (Ever - ed.), we can offer solace! And whiskey and yelling, tacos and camaraderie. Come join the soon-to-be dearly departed in one last stand of what you've hopefully come to enjoy, Taco Friday. Same taco time, same taco place. I will break step and ask that a few people bring a small dish to pass so that there will be constant rejoicing. Also bring some beers and tell me if you want a particular mixed drink.

This is going to be big, guys. Rarely do the dead get to enjoy their own funeral. Here's something to wet your palate.


Tuesday, August 10, 2010

MOM.COM

HI KIDS IT'S ME MOM, YOUR MOM. WE NEED TO GO TO TRY ON UNDERWEAR AT JCPENNEY YOUR UNDERWEAR ARE TOO WORN OUT. WE MAY AS WELL GET PICTURES TAKEN AS WELL SINCE GRANDMA IS GOING TO DIE SOON.

WE CAN GO TO CHUCK E. CHEESE AFTERWARDS JUST YOU AND ME.

Monday, July 26, 2010

Into the Heart of Tacos

Taco Friday for Friday, July 30th

how did this get here i am not good with computer

WELCOME BACK. It's been too long, friend(s). I crave your company like I crave electrocution and punches (ie, completely). You are hereby cordially invited to spend the evening with me, Asmod "The Miracle" Taco, as well as my merry band of Tacitos.

You know what? The above is the third attempt at an opening paragraph so it's just going to stay DESPITE MISGIVINGS. Taco Friday has been out of commission for two weeks and I'm craving a Taco Friday, so much so that you're getting a four day advance notice. I don't want some sort of limp dick shit, alright? I want you, my friends, to drink bourbon at my expense and contradict me and each other at increasingly high volumes. That's... that's what you want, right? I have no idea.

Let's summarize:
  1. Tacos
  2. Electrocution
  3. No limp dick shit
Okay?

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

DOG FOOD == DOOF GOD

Just a friendly note that there will, again, sadly be no Taco Friday this week. A month without Taco Fridays is like equivalent to losing a mother (in International Sorrow Units, ISUs), so I can only imagine what it's like for you. There's all the consolation I can muster.



The good stuff happens at 1:09 and 2:10.

Friday, July 16, 2010

leave my butt alone!

For clarity: the last poSt was Not some sOrt of confusing, extremeLy puzzling notice of a Taco FridAy. This week: no Taco Friday. There is no secret message in this post. Do not try to decode it, okay people? RelaX.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

And nothing happened.

I present to you a series of images from the Taco Friday "special" archive. Feel free to contemplate them.






Individually profound, each image builds upon the last to create a sort of visual minor chord, pleasing but sad.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

I try to keep it that way

Taco Friday for Friday, July 9th



HEEEEEEEEEY

There is going to be a previously unmentioned Taco Friday tomorrow. Guys I'm so sorry that this keeps happening but because of Factors, we have to make Decisions.

I'm not going to lie; it's going to be hot as balls in my apartment tomorrow and I don't have A/C. Punching (consensual only) has been scientifically proven to reduce local entropy, which is realized in reduced temperatures and increased terror. Whiskey and cold, cold wine will be present, featuring old friends and new fears.

(This Taco Friday breaks the rules. -T.N.)

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Taco Friday Grab Bag

Taco Friday for Friday, July 2nd

Here at Taco Friday, we receive a lot of correspondence. We'll take this opportunity to answer some of the many questions that come in on a weekly basis. We wish we could answer each one personally, but there are just so many! Please don't let that stop you; we love to hear feedback of any sort.
Why does Adam's pee smell like an elephant pen at the zoo? It's grassy and clean to the extent of piquing curiosity, but ultimately nauseating. -T.N. of Somerville
Thanks, T.N. This smell is caused by a surprisingly large number of urinary tract infections, not diet as many believe. The vast majority of these infections are symbiotic with the others, resulting in a sort of miniature ecosystem in Adam's bladder and urethra. The net result is not especially deleterious, but very strongly scented.
If I was punched at Taco Friday, could I be pregnant? -B.H. of Arlington
Not just could be, B.H., but definitely are! I would recommend giving up alcohol and buying a pair of knitting needles, some yarn, and keeping your fingers busy before the little one arrives. Congratulations.
Will there be a Taco Friday this week? My life is a fucked apart dead thing when I'm not having fun. -Y.T.D. of Somerville
YOU GOT IT, Y.T.D. Taco Friday kicks back off this Friday at the same taco time, same taco place as you've grown to love/tolerate. As always, R.S.V.P. so I know what the hell I'm doing with my life.

Monday, June 14, 2010

Taco Friday hat trick, feat.Jay Pyle


Taco Friday for Friday, June 18th


Word on the street is that your friend and mine, Jay Pyle, will be hosting the last true Taco Friday of the spring (This has been confirmed - ed.). For those of you who may not have met the man, let me give you a questionnaire to determine if Jay Pyle is right for you.
  • Do you enjoy tall men?
  • Are you between the ages of 18-35 and have a family history of Parkinson's disease?
  • Have you ever killed a rodent or teenager in anger, in jest, or by accident?
  • Do you enjoy, or are you willing to experiment with, hugs from behind?
If you answered "yes" to at least two of these statements, then all aboard! Jay Pyle should not be handled by pregnant women or women who may become pregnant. Jay Pyle lives at 135 Central St., Apt. #5 in Somerville. In case of emergency or questions, he can be reached via the internet. I recommend that you RSVP directly to Jay, though the Taco Friday Customer Service Team remains perpetually at your service, "a mighty servant who never sleeps."